Yesterday was pretty amazing. Snazzy, Jazzy, Voo-doolicious even. Yah. I went to see the VooDoo Lady. I have to say I had a tough time following the matron in black complete with awful snow boots into her den without laughing, but I managed. Man, you had to be there to understand. But anyway, I think she is beginning to understand my sense of humor, because I gladly told her I was thrilled Vybrid didn't cause me to want to knit a sweater! This realization is kinda scary and on the other hand, a compliment of such. In other words, she hasn't locked me in the loony bin because she hates my sarcasm. *whew* I say that in advance because we were discussing the only side effect I disliked and I had to really grasp for language at this point as not to be vulgar and say the word Fart. So deadpan I told her that it occasionally makes me afraid of Flatulation. Her eyebrows went up and we both shared a three second stare and moved right along with my happiness that sex is still on the menu. *snicker*
After that I decided to go grocery shopping. My mom decided to call me and I had to answer the phone because she had threatened me in voicemail form that translated to: You are a douche if you don't call your mother. Nobody wants that, so I answered.
People my mother decided to discuss God and the Gospel. I pulled my buggy over and sat down on a recliner deciding on how to get her to stop talking about the whole subject. She advised me to read the gospel if I had any questions about life. Really? OK, Who is this woman and where is my mom? So I told her I didn't think God brought up nosehairs in the Bible. Behind me I hear a pink panther like *hhehheheheh* and the guilty party laughed openly at my obvious discomfort of being in the middle of Big Lots thinking blasphemy. My mom picked up on this finally and asked me to call her later. I sagged in the lazy-boy, stuffed my phone in my purse and continued on shopping .. all the while wondering how God decided to talk to me through Big Lots.
WOW. I found personality at Big Lots. This is highly unusual for me. Sadly though, I needed candy. Yeah, he was 18 and thinking I was hot stuff, and told me so. I tried to be grown up. I failed.
On to shop at the Dollar Tree. Then stopped at the ABC store. Tom Jones' What's New Pussycat was playing. I just had to comment I had that on vinyl. The lady behind the counter said Ummm HUmmmm I loved him and his tight assed pants growing up Ummmm HUummmm. Which prompted me to say I feel the same way about David Bowie and then we both smacked our gums and had it not been in the ABC store, we probably would have high fived each other and bumped hips. It was a transcendental moment.
I got home and was a hero for thumping my chest and hunting and gathering much food and laughter. Life was pretty shiny huh?
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