Duality Nullified and I'm No Longer a Skeptic

We've all heard the euphemisms:  Why Not?  You're only young once, Live to the fullest.  Don't look back.  Move forward.  Don't worry about the small stuff.  Then you simply can't forget about all the marketing sayings, logos, trademarks and copyrights that yack in the same manner.

I write in spurts, but tend to avoid a few topics.  No, I take that back.  I avoid talking about God because I've always been turned off from people cramming different opinion and ideology at me. God is personal, and I've always felt speaking about him should only be in the most concrete and sincere way possible, and I haven't been very concrete.  Even though I wasn't sure, not speaking about belief and how I felt began to bother me.  Where am I on this fence, I began to ask myself this question too many times to ignore.  Oh, I know exactly where I am now. I started another blog a couple weeks back, and I've decided to not separate this from my original blog.  When I started writing there, I had good intentions, but things have happened between the time I decided to write on this topic to now.  I am not church and state, I'm just me, so I think dividing the topic out of my blog isn't being who I am.  Now on reflection, it seems like I was giving in to the idea in duality, and I just can't.

I am passionate about this post and happy to write this here.  I am not on that fence anymore.  I am Christian.  Those of you that read my blog know I talk pretty much down to earth, and I have to just put it out there.  I have been searching, and the search is over people.  I had an experience that changed me, scared me, that ultimately saved me and I am still in awe of the power of Jesus Christ.

I am now in the process of learning more about the Lord and understanding his word and reeling from just how powerful God truly is.

I will probably write more in detail, and give a backdrop but I feel compelled to at least put it out there simply.  I am only now beginning to read the Bible, but the Lord our God is real.  Real and tangible, and listening for those who want his salvation.

*Huge Breath*

So inside I was restless and I had been researching for a long while on all things spiritual and how they collide with every day.  I looked up everything, on all kinds of topics, from science to history to paranormal.  I've watched, listened and read many books.  I wanted compelling truth about the world I was living in.  I listened to podcasts, watched YouTube, played with apps and followed different new age ideas, prayed, contemplated, visualized, you name it.  Then I decided to try a spirit box.  At first it seemed pretty harmless and then it started getting compelling.  So I recorded what was being said. Then it got detailed and then I realized where I was teetering.  I started praying.  I said the Our Father.  Things happened.  I even said out loud stop pushing my buttons; well, my computer went on and off from across the room. [scary]  I called on Jesus Christ.  Every hair on my body stood up.  I felt it.  It was that simple, yet that scary, all at the same time.  I listened to my recording and what I heard was still there, just like the feeling of Christ in my heart.

He's still here with me.  The world makes much more sense now, and I am relieved that God heard me in all my sincerity.  I have much to learn about his word, and stating my belief in Jesus Christ is that first step. I had to take this moment and share my good news.  Jesus loves me and I know it, because I felt the moment when question and fear change into conviction and reality.  It's liberating, this feeling of not being on the fence.  I've got a lot of work ahead of me, but somehow,  its all possible.

I was intent on finding truth, and the Lord gave me what I needed.  So in closing, I am still me, just brighter and happier because I found what I was looking for.  I pray those who are looking find their way too.  Just from one believer to the skeptic, don't dabble.

Enumerate leads to Point Lost - Trivial LIST

I illuminate lest I enumerate..MAKING Sans Serif appear IRATE, in hopes size CAN enunciate.  BOLD, ALL CAPS I shake my Sans Serif fist. Just for gist, yes I’m pissed, ‘list’ with an IT twist.  With no probate (claims this magistrate).. I DAMN using the word enumeration.Explanation? …desecration.. Lack of congregation ... sputtering flames of instigation..  Lists me on the PC. 

Helevetically! 

{Sadly Sans Serif wouldn't publish here you see.}

Yes this is a rant about computers and the enormity of my everyday mind, which on reflection, has no problem with four letter words.

LIST: FUCK THAT.

SIGH. Not really. Just on PCs scrolling the word endlessly .. almost nefarious. After listing some file name like:  {AOEMEopkeafmkpwoemepvrmpwoeficloewpmpoLiewontieont} in a folder inside a folder inside a folder.  AH HA!  Kind of Like Yzma's brilliant plan in Disney's The Emperor's New Groove. 

Please note this content belongs to Walt Disney and is not my property.

Thank you.

For all you still reading:  I had to look up Helevetica, and I believe my trivia filter blew a gasket.  A sans serif typeface that has a 2007 film documenting its 50th anniversary.  It's funny, but I'm snarky about the linguistics and logic of so many everyday forces in my life.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Helvetica

Finding Time

I'm finding it difficult these days to find time.  That statement as it stands is ludicrous.  Time being an illusion and everything.  I like this blog,  There are so many posts.  I find that it likes to crash on me.  I don't like going incognito to simply write.  I'm no expert on blog design, but I like my writing.  I don't know how to make it work.  I wish I could break it apart like Lego blocks, because that seems much simpler a concept to work with.

Part of me wants to start over, but how to move all this stuff.  Like I said, I like my blog.  I enjoy writing.  The thing is, I don't think this is the place for my blog to be settled in.  I don't know.  It's hard to get the right answers these days.

I have a lot to say.  However, its changing, the things I want to say.  Anyway.  I'll figure it out.  I do eventually.

It's 2:22

It's 2:22.
Enough of you.
I'm through.
with the bad taste
of talking
spew.

Chew.

Remember it's Only a Sandwich.
*hit!

Hush.
I must brush.
Sweater spew.
Stinks.
Phew.

Toothbrush renew.
To-
Morrow.

Intentions Make All the Difference

I don't believe in luck.  I know I've said that before. I think luck belongs to those who can't believe they participate in statistics.  I don't proclaim I understand statistical equations, but I know the formulas are out there and somewhere, all the time, I get plugged into those equations.

That said, and digging deeper, I do believe in things outside that mindset because neither luck nor statistics explain everything I experience in life. I've been on a quest of sorts.  Looking around, seeing the world for what it is, and how best to interpret the loads of information heaped upon my questioning inquisitive mind.  It's difficult to find truth these days.  For a time, not having answers weighed heavily.  I didn't even know what I was looking for, so I stopped wondering about that part.

I'm glad I let the concrete go, which means, I just kept educating myself. After much inner turmoil,  I reached out to someone.  I didn't have lofty expectations of anything (at least I told myself).  So when I received a response, I froze up.  It was so difficult to take in, someone was actually nice.  Nice for no reason or agenda. [This is different from the post: I Called Romania because I reached out for me, not a cell phone]  I'm not going to go into detail, it's not the point.  I asked a complete stranger for help of sorts, and this person answered back, comforted me by listening, but didn't try to solve any dilemma, give biased advice, nor attempt to convince me of any opinion they held.  I had a conversation with a person, who by just being nice, uplifted me.  I thanked this person profusely, and I think I probably made her day better with the thank you.  Being nice is so easy, and yet truly nice people are an enigma unto themselves. I wanted to mention this experience because it was a ripple in the pond that made a difference for me.  I am grateful for that person I reached out to, and uplifted in how kind and empathetically they reacted: directly, right then, because they wanted to. Isn't that beautiful to think upon?

It's the little things truly, that deep down, we all yearn for.  Someone to see us, someone to be kind; more important, to be honest because they want to be.  People treat others with honesty and kindness help us find the goodness in ourselves; and can help us see the subtlety of intention. Intention influences so much of our lives and the impact can be profound. I looked up the word intention at Merriam-Webster, and I love the definition.

I use many words and leave much out, but those details are not the reason I share my life blogging lately.  I used to get caught up on those snags of detail and my intentions were lost in erroneous detail.  I'm writing with the intent of inspiring others to think of their own experiences and how intent affects them.

Think about intention when you are online or chatting.  Ask yourself who you are and then compare that to what you intend to do or say.  Are they the same?  Do you think you are a good person?  Do you intend to be a good person?  It's a deep subject because your intentions say much about who you truly are, and they make a difference every day.  Good or bad.

I keep discovering wonderful people.  Statistics and luck be damned, I like the intention in looking for the honest truth that kind people make the biggest difference, one person at a time.