Things that may cause the world to shift magnetic poles seem to crop up around my universe and its clogging my Feng Shui. I thought I really needed to get a life when the fact of the matter is I have an extensive one with all the options. I find myself wishing for a daily set that includes less. Call it downsizing if you will.
No longer shall I wish to pull vocal cords out of the people that exclaim how happy they are to see me out and about. Too messy. Let them think I'm a loser hermit. Then they won't ask for anything all the while saying they are the type of person that doesn't.
Next, rebellion. I pass on that. Rebellion is for those wishing to fuck everything they know up. I am not that type. Shake things up. Sure. Rebel. After thinking it through and giving it a test run, forget it. Rebellion happens to belong to the mind set of do first and think later. Never works for me. I'm going to add rebellion to the list of things that happen to other people.
More Grey stuff. So I had some new sign ins for my cave. I then labeled my Grey Goose bottle: Dear Maverick (me), You did not kill this goose. Stop sharing. Then on another bottle I put in white out: Dear Bitches (not me), Don't ask where the other bottle is, the answer is NO. For emphasis I wrote a HUGE 'NO' on the neck of the bottle in white out. This would be the Captain Morgan. Top shelf bottle location will not be revealed in this blog. No is no is NO.
I had to do all that note writing because my flask system failed on me. They drink all that too. I'll quote one of my lush friends with her own words: "Mr. Snake, would you babysit my pet rat for me?" The thing is when the snakes have been in your cave, they know you have bottles somewhere. Dammit. Thus we've moved bottles and left kind words on others.
Then there is a new sentence I believe I am beginning to dislike. Formerly I thought it was kind of cool. After hearing it frequently, nope, it sucks. Ready for it? It's a shame you are married. Another version: I wish you weren't married. Be thrilled right? Wrong. If you happen to be hanging out this line is fishing for whether or not I'm some cheating skank. That's in extreme cases. It can also be the opening statement for finding out if my life sucks so bad I'm willing to their entire life story since I don't have one. Blah. Now don't sit there and think I'm some kind of Grinch. Not every person that says this makes my hackles rise or makes me throw up in my own mouth. There are very few though. OK, yeah, if a woman said this to me, I'd probably piss myself with laughter.
So then there's women. I have two girlfriends. And that is a shaky number. The rest pretty much hate me. I'm working on a synopsis as to why I believe I should use the word hate emphatically. But its hate. If this were the Matrix and I were Neo, I would want the DAMNED blue pill. I want to wake up in my bed and believe whatever I want to believe. But no. Somewhere along the line I ate that red one. Therefore, I know its hate.
Expanding. So some people I haven't spoken to in ages send me facebook messages trying to sell the fact they don't talk to my starter husband. First rule of thumb, if you swear something to me, I believe its a lie. This person checks in from time to time to see if my life sucks enough to be destitute, which means he can check me off his bucket list. One of these days when I'm mad enough I'll ask him if my theory on this is true. He asked why I unfriended him. I want to write back and ask if he wants the truth or a good lie. I've hung out with him, he ate the blue pill, or he wouldn't ask.
More on Facebook. A family member I don't speak to asked me to call because he had a question. Then the next day a cousin leaves me a voicemail. I hear Twilight Zone music in my head and wonder what nefarious plot is being hatched to fuck up the fact I am seeing my parents and sisters.
Holy shit right? My parents? I know. They built a deck on their house and I didn't know it until about a month ago. I'll be damned if a few cousins and an Uncle are screwing this up for me. I called the Uncle anyway. He wanted my help to get his GED. I cried. It's true.
However, I'm not calling the cousin. After the couple of sideways posts on my page that even my husband caught and laughed about, I refuse. Sideways means: I have an Aunt that sees me and says wow, I'm not as fat as I was last time she saw me. I have another family member to comment on my hair.. and now I have a cousin concerned about my tired eyes. All this is meant to be complimentary. Complimentary bullshit that came with the side pack o' lies I endured because I love my mother. I DON'T THINK SO.
Well fingers hurt, and there is so much more to talk about. I guess I'd better start posting again.
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