Manamanah 1976 / Plight of Monogamy

Just say Monogamous instead... and the frustration is palpable. 

Society verses marriage.  Two different languages.

Spider Mafia

I do believe spiders have a bounty on my head.  I was in my daughter's bedroom sorting a pile of assorted kid stuff.  The dirty clothes and clean mixed with shoes and a healthy spattering of random crap hid a large spider from detection.  Said spider made his presence known by falling out of a shoe and onto my hand.  My home is pretty soundproof.. but my husband came running down the hall in response to the red alert scream I let fly.  All I could do is sit there with a shoe in each hand screaming and praying the bitch didn't move.

Husband crushed the enemy and I flung shoe across room in frustration.  Spiders and thier destruction are a part of my marital agreement.  Boogers. Blood. Dinner.  Laundry.  Yes.  Bugs.  NO WAY.

Surfacing

I spoke with a 26 year old stranger that used to galvanize many of my life decisions.  It bothers me to feel distaste when thinking of my youngest sister in this manner.  I listen as my fish tank hums and my dog softly snores and crickets chirp in chorus.  I am restless to pin a label on my feelings.  Am I deflated?  Depressed?  Sad? Nope.

I believe I feel my age.  Translated: Perception.  Realization: I should market the theme of 'People are not Projects'.

Amazingly enough, my ideas on people have been restructured due to experience.  People have no problem throwing a person under the bus.  I hate to keep using sayings and analogies, but even here, the threat of specific use is potentially damaging.

Oh Hell.  Since when did I become assimilated?  (we pause now for my head to hit the reality airbag)

Good thing we all wear a seat belt.. because we want the damn car to shut the hell up.  Errr.

Where was I?  Sister.  Yeah well, the fact she's a shithead has not changed.  What has surfaced as new data would be pride in association.

Actual Coversation:
Sister:  I keep waiting on the other shoe to fall.
Me:  (rolling eyes) It rains shoes here.
Sister: I like that, I'll have to use it.
Me:  Apply for trademark.

It was Not Itsy Bitsy

I believe my blood pressure has returned to normal.  At least I think so.  I just went out onto my back deck about an hour ago... but then just ten minutes ago.. I flipped on the light switch... and about stepped face first into an enormous spider web.  Holy ....SHiiiiiiiTTTT!!! was all I could say as I jumped back into my house with visions of legs scrambling over my head.  AHHHHHHHH!!!

My fearless husband comes to the door as I duck out freaking.

Enter flaming grill lighter.

My hero.

Laughing his ass off at me.

Art

So I have a poster of a rock star posing nude with someone covering the gems.  I had to point out to my kid that he wasn't naked.  Non-plussed, she looks at me and says in an exasperated tone: MOM.  I giggle and say 'See, there are hands covering him.'  She rolls her eyes and pointedly says in a tone that implicates 'are you blind mom?'.... says... THOSE ARE NOT HIS HANDS.

I almost died laughing.  Honestly though, I'm proud that my child has scruples and I must be doing something right.  She shrugs it off and leaves the room saying that he was cute, but stupid.

Oh I hope she stays this smart.