Lost:Dictionary Definition with Commentary

Merriam-Webster’s

Definition of the word:  LOST

lost adjective \ˈlȯst\ : unable to be found for I am a daily endlessness whose compliance dulls the mind.  Into the background I am everywhere: camouflaged of heart.

: not knowing where you are or how to get to where you want to go : unable to find your way And I so believed Dr. Seuss’ Oh the Places You’ll Go.

: no longer held, owned, or possessed Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord.. my soul to keep..because sadly I can’t give the best parts of me away.

Full Definition of LOST

1:  not made use of, won, or claimed I want to belong in a way I think exists in my head.

2 a :  no longer possessed with the passion that burns within..

   b :  no longer known to share the glory of dreams.

3 :  ruined or destroyed physically or morally :  desperate to not show how true feelings are raw and desperate to find courage

4 a :  taken away or beyond reach or attainment :  denied I only know what I want in life is for me to find on my own, help is a liar

   b :  insensible, hardened I need therefore I chase my own tail...

5 a :  unable to find the way How can I trust anyone?

   b :  no longer visible because I am a housewife, the world is too busy, be content with mediocre.

   c :  lacking assurance or self-confidence :  helpless because I am afraid, not of being fucking amazing or sexy, but of just talking about my ideas.

6 :  rapt, absorbed I light little candles and hope I am not settling, and more time passes and the candle flickers..

7 :  not appreciated or understood :  wasted I have so much to share with the world, if the world will merely give me inspiration and galvanize me in some way.

8:  obscured or overlooked during a process or activity I still do not know what happened and why no one opened their mouth to defend our family honor.  And it is a goal of mine to gather my courage to do just that.

9:  hopelessly unattainable:  futile the realization no one around me has seen my true potential to make a difference.  It makes the word lost sad because when I reach this, they might miss it.

So, are you lost? Can you be found? Will you see, if I look.  I run with lighted candle. Tears abound at memories of feeling so lost I screamed... was there a sound?  Or did the reverie catch up with you?

Should you be lost.. and I find ... you ... will you be?

Ah yes,

Blind.

To be by Choice

Choices

That's what people always say you have.

Choices are questions.

Choices are ultimatums.

Choices are verbalized cop outs by those around you.

When you're by yourself, that's supposed to be a choice too.

I didn't choose this.

I don't even want it.

It's not my language.

Talking is my language.

Hugging is my language.

Words are my language.

Words spoke out loud.

I love you. I need you. I want you.

Those aren't choices to me.

They are statements. In my language.

Bridge the gap.  Get out of your boat and float in words.

Maybe then I'll choose.

Because then I have more than what everyone else has.

Your silence is deafening.

Looking at My Own Mice Type

I have a hectic schedule and an intense job.  With all sincerity, my job takes up most of the time I spend on the Internet, and the only reason I keep up with Facebook is because I use it as a 'family' tool.  This blog is my luxury, and I enjoy it.  I wish I could dedicate more time towards writing, but right now, my talents are spread quite thin at the moment.

I have a career, not a job.  I strive for clarity in this statement. The word job feels weasel-like on my tongue and cheapens my importance to the whole picture.  I will not tolerate a negative debasement of my passionate dedication by those stuck within the confines of their own system of what makes a person worth something.  I have a BA, a ton of experience and training but I STILL have to keep up to cover everything, because the demands put upon me challenge daily.  There is no guide out there for businesses and customer service, maintaining a cost conscious diligence, keeping up with rebates and warranties, calling and updating home services on top of cleanliness.

I am a housewife.  And it is a career.  I am not about to get on a soapbox and complain about what I should be paid.  That is a moot point for me.  My husband and I run this home together, manage a small business, keep up our properties, are parents to a beautiful child and we hold it down together.  To me, my role in my household contains an overwhelming amount of responsibility, productivity and effort that my husband reflects.  Its the rest of the world I want to shake my fists at.  I have it. Yes.  My own little business.   A career.  A big part of a complex organization.  If there was ever a theoretical mission statement or about us thing... it would include all the below items.

AND I savored writing this.

Twotablesnotime

Owner/CEO

The American Dream

a Division of the Hall Corporation

Stokesdale, NC 27357

HOME OFFICE

Customer Service:  Contact twotables for all household related concerns

Sales:  No one offers better pricing on hand chosen housewares

Technical Support:  Contact twotables [Emergency contact information]

Operations:  contact twotables for department allocation within HOME OFFICE

Security Clearance:  must be approved by BOTH owners of The American Dream

Warranty/Replacement:  The American Dream by the Hall Corporation offers an exclusive warranty for as long as you retain contact with our services.

Independents:  The American Dream offers limited programs and associations and maintain the right to deny or change agreements without notice.   Failure to maintain an account with The American Dream and misappropriate use of our Brands or Logo is punishable in accordance with any way we deem fit.  Violation of Company policy will not be tolerated.  Proper phone protocol is to be observed at all times.  The American Dream does not affiliate with John Hall Guttering employees, however HOME OFFICE is open to accept paperwork and Issues as directed by John Hall.  In the event of a Natural Disaster or Act of John, The American Dream has the right to dictate to any and all affiliates.   If The American Dream is out of the office, you must WAIT.  Approval from *Latter Halls is UNACCEPTABLE.  This includes Security Clearance to HOME OFFICE.

The American Dream retains the right to deny services to anyone.  Any attempts by outside parties to solicit CEO/Owners twotables or John Hall shall be handled by *ANY means necessary.  *ANY means may include/not limited to:  intense scrutiny, background check, formal complaints, and if necessary; use of force.  We are a privately owned and operated corporation and any means to gain unwanted access shall be considered a serious threat to operations**.

**in the event of Latter Halls or Nareaus contract involvement, The American Dream must approve in advance.  Infractions or complaints by an Independent about Latter Halls or Nareaus are to be handled by  The American Dream.  Latter Halls and Nareaus have warranties and insurance through The American Dream.   Any outside consultation by Independents to these parties without authorization is embezzlement/misuse of company resources.  Anything you say and do to them will be used against you.

SHOP

Transportation:  Contact John Hall

Deliveries with more than 3 axles must use Lower Entrance

Questions about an Invoice?  Contact John and leave a message.

Operations:  Contact John with job questions and concerns.

Interested in delivering material?  John is the person to give a quote to.  And don't waste his time.

JHG, Inc.does not accept credit cards or financing; so if you have received an invoice, pay it on time.

Interested in becoming an Associate?  The American Dream currently has no positions offered.

However The Hall Corporation encourages Applicants to inquire directly to John Hall Guttering.  If hired by our company, be on time and be *dependable.

Employees report to John Hall Guttering, however HOME OFFICE has your information on file.  You must be Key holder to enter Home Office.

*Dependable is all inclusive - call with questions, do it right the first time,  be safe, and manage your own money and personal life.  Everyone has unexpected emergencies, and we understand, but we also have a business to run and lives of our own.

Spirituality in Clovers

Being lucky is not how I define myself.  I do not possess the mathematical prowess nor do I consult the stars to aid in being lucky.  I do have one talent that seems to astound a lot of people.  I find four leaf clovers.  I have always been able to.  What do you think I do with them?  I find a piece of hard paper and date it, then I place my clover in the center and put tape over it.  Then, I give them away.  I've been doing this for a long time.  I don't know quite when my belief system set in, but I'll share it.  Friends have been astonished when I've stood in their yards and plucked a prize from between our toes.  My best friend tearfully told me she had never found one before ... and still carries the one I gave her around.  I have given them as birthday gifts when I had no money.

A special Day.

Having a child and being a parent has made those clover searches more a daily routine for me.  I'll be outside looking down attempting to not be upset over drama before school.  When faced with the unanswerable, I consult the clovers.  Clovers keep me sane, they make me smile ruefully in the face of ALL IS LOST.  I am certain my clovers are there for me to center myself upon.  These bright patches of green are my connection with the unknown.  Karma, prayer, meditation... all are located in my yard.  God is but a patch away. Finding a YES within my given time to look makes me smile.  Going away empty handed means NO, but hey, I find more YES than NO.  Time feels well spent in my clovers.  I have my favorite patch to sit and survey my universe.  Four leaf clovers give me peace when I am anxious.  They help me not be angry and help me find time to just be.  To ask God a clover question and then keep the clover would upset the balance of my world, at least in my mind.

In sitting down to write this, I looked up four leaf clovers and found the following:

Druids believed carrying a 4LC warded off bad luck and offered magical protection.

Supposedly Eve carried away a 4LC from Eden, so to carry one is like always having a bit of that paradise.

Regular clovers stand for the holy trinity, a 4LC stands for the grace of God.

In the middle ages, children believed that having a 4LC made it possible for them to see fairies.

The odds of finding a 4LC is 10,000 to one, but that was a generous number I think.  Further reading included age and gender, which should be irrelevant in the whole luck system (personal belief).

In reading the above 'facts' and nostalgia... I conclude this:

Every clover I give away should help the recipient because they should be able to see fairies, have a symbol of God's grace, feel a little of Eden's paradise, ward off bad luck and be the one in ten thousand I choose to share a smile with.

Isn't that wonderful?

I found over twenty four leaf clovers in one day; the picture below is some of them.  I still think I'm me, but that day was rather special.  I shared this wisdom of the clovers with my daughter.  She found four.

All found in one Day.

My neighbors may wonder what it is I'm doing out there in my yard.  Maybe I lost something.  Maybe I'm crazy.  I really don't care.  I ponder life's mysteries and the troubles of the world pass me by.

Need a clover?  Email me.  I'll find one for you especially.  I'll mail it too.

Thoughts About Being Married

Post by Marsha Faye Hall.