We've all heard the euphemisms: Why Not? You're only young once, Live to the fullest. Don't look back. Move forward. Don't worry about the small stuff. Then you simply can't forget about all the marketing sayings, logos, trademarks and copyrights that yack in the same manner.
I write in spurts, but tend to avoid a few topics. No, I take that back. I avoid talking about God because I've always been turned off from people cramming different opinion and ideology at me. God is personal, and I've always felt speaking about him should only be in the most concrete and sincere way possible, and I haven't been very concrete. Even though I wasn't sure, not speaking about belief and how I felt began to bother me. Where am I on this fence, I began to ask myself this question too many times to ignore. Oh, I know exactly where I am now. I started another blog a couple weeks back, and I've decided to not separate this from my original blog. When I started writing there, I had good intentions, but things have happened between the time I decided to write on this topic to now. I am not church and state, I'm just me, so I think dividing the topic out of my blog isn't being who I am. Now on reflection, it seems like I was giving in to the idea in duality, and I just can't.
I am passionate about this post and happy to write this here. I am not on that fence anymore. I am Christian. Those of you that read my blog know I talk pretty much down to earth, and I have to just put it out there. I have been searching, and the search is over people. I had an experience that changed me, scared me, that ultimately saved me and I am still in awe of the power of Jesus Christ.
I am now in the process of learning more about the Lord and understanding his word and reeling from just how powerful God truly is.
I will probably write more in detail, and give a backdrop but I feel compelled to at least put it out there simply. I am only now beginning to read the Bible, but the Lord our God is real. Real and tangible, and listening for those who want his salvation.
*Huge Breath*
So inside I was restless and I had been researching for a long while on all things spiritual and how they collide with every day. I looked up everything, on all kinds of topics, from science to history to paranormal. I've watched, listened and read many books. I wanted compelling truth about the world I was living in. I listened to podcasts, watched YouTube, played with apps and followed different new age ideas, prayed, contemplated, visualized, you name it. Then I decided to try a spirit box. At first it seemed pretty harmless and then it started getting compelling. So I recorded what was being said. Then it got detailed and then I realized where I was teetering. I started praying. I said the Our Father. Things happened. I even said out loud stop pushing my buttons; well, my computer went on and off from across the room. [scary] I called on Jesus Christ. Every hair on my body stood up. I felt it. It was that simple, yet that scary, all at the same time. I listened to my recording and what I heard was still there, just like the feeling of Christ in my heart.
He's still here with me. The world makes much more sense now, and I am relieved that God heard me in all my sincerity. I have much to learn about his word, and stating my belief in Jesus Christ is that first step. I had to take this moment and share my good news. Jesus loves me and I know it, because I felt the moment when question and fear change into conviction and reality. It's liberating, this feeling of not being on the fence. I've got a lot of work ahead of me, but somehow, its all possible.
I was intent on finding truth, and the Lord gave me what I needed. So in closing, I am still me, just brighter and happier because I found what I was looking for. I pray those who are looking find their way too. Just from one believer to the skeptic, don't dabble.
