Dollar Shave Club Inspires Memories of How It Should Have Been

Wow.  I identify with both parties in this commercial.  The guy wanting to know what he is refused access from the local pharmacy shaving ATM makes me empathize the most, but I have been buying razors long enough to not wait hopelessly at the box and stare at it. Nor do I get mad at the employee without clearance to the sacred keys...  BUT what the commercial reminded me of the painful days of toddler activities.....but I confess my days of gymnastics with toddlers and supermoms brought forth thoughts of socks and duct tape for certain moms... and a dart gun.

OK, OK before people shout out 'You hypocritical hater!' (I know, without details its very scandalous).  Let me fill in the blanks.  The duct tape is to be applied to any self proclaimed SuperMom multitasker (that can't park an Escalade.. it's creepy... Monster trucks seem to be the common mode of mammal movement these days); where was I... DUCT TAPING Mentally the Super's hand, to that God-awful screaming, drooling/oozing from every orifice CHILD I saw at least ten other women strangle with their eyes.  Meanwhile I'm wanting to simply lay hands upon their kid for neglect..it's VILE ...because LIKE a cartwheel into the vending area is so cool ten damned times (OH hell no sweetie, sit the fuck down DUCT TAPE).  The socks are for ... for .. that SuperMom I knew could swallow a pair of socks and STILL be heard bitching on the phone in the corner (acoustics people)... the dart gun... one for the teacher that made my daughter hate dance... a special WAKE up for the shit head supposedly teaching..  in my dream I have an arsenal of darts that I keep in my Batmobile.. or my Buick.. Betty.  I like to call them my 'sentials.  These tools are ESSENTIAL to me, the sentinel (I'm Batman)*

Seriously, I signed up for this.  Being a Mother and the Shave Club... bata bing. What a great company and super idea.  One for me and One for Him.  Delivered.  Razorblades delivered to my door.  Cool. Check it out.

https://www.dollarshaveclub.com/

*Please please visit the Channel HISHE on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHCph-_jLba_9atyCZJPLQQ




Or their website:  http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com

What is the Message Sent Twice? One Eye.

I haven't been anywhere in two months, but every place.  I feel brittle.  Then the no-nonsensical me remembers what kind of world I truly live in.  So I crack every bone, sit and hone my smile, hide that voice. Don't be so inconvenient!  Seriously..

Yes we see.

Do we care?

Of Course!

that is,

(brilliantly)

Of Couture?

You?

'Umm Honey.  That foot sez ta me.... Paleeeze....Tattoo them for yo mid' life crisis!'

Can we get back to two eyes?

Not one.

A world of cyclops.

Knitting Sweaters

I should be upstairs.
knitting

If I follow that thread
I end up in bed

very warm.

That nettles (needles) knitting gnashing
thread by thread
sweaters.

I shed.
Down the stairs.
In my chair.

Fingers clatter, oh NOT to knit
finding

oh
well

Shit.




The answers are still the same.

1. My favorite channel is OFF
2. My right foot is not older than my left, as I cannot rearrange the space time
like Q...
3.  I have more fun with complete strangers.
4.  No Net.
5.  Mercy is actually an idiot's typo. Mer Ci
6. Yeah, I forgot, Hate me. it's fair. I hate you. Whoever you are.

Sisters and Life

I take too much for granted in this life I have.  Things that seem insurmountable to me would be a daydream for someone else to have.  I'm emotional at the moment dwelling on my sister, whom I admire profusely down to the very acidity of her struggles.  

She shrugged off my admission of admiration, and I can't take offense because I know why.  Believing in something makes a person vulnerable.  That's what my sister is, vulnerable.. and I can't stand the fact I am powerless to ease her hurts. God how I want to.

One thing I can do is put these words out there.  I admire my sister because:

1.  She happens to be an amazing mother.

2.  She is thrifty.

3.  She is brave.

4.  She has dreams.

5.  She improvises.

6.  She sings.

7.  She gives.

8.  She loves.

9.  She cries.

10.  Her children are her heart.

11.  She loves her family.

12.  She has grown up.

13.  She tries hard.

14.  She doesn't give up.

15.  She is funny.

16.  She is proud.

I could go on and on but I'm so glad enough time has gone by that we have become close friends.  I can't imagine not knowing her or needing her, because she is always there.

Lionel Richie: Find a Way to see Him in Concert

Before I back up the title of this blog topic, I want to put a question out there.  Do you realize how quickly we are moving through an age of the most brilliant and influential musicians of our time?  WE are.  'Elvis: The King Lives On' doesn't phase people these days because that's all they care to know about an American Icon.  I live to love music.  And the more history I learn, the harder I find myself scrambling for tickets to see these legends; people simply have forgotten the beauty of our roots in the glaring lights of Pop Culture and Reality shows.  PAY ATTENTION and enjoy, but remember too.  Whitney Houston is GONE and I never saw her in concert, oh how I wished I had... and Michael Jackson too.  Appreciate live music for what it is.  To me, a band live most of the time has more raw artistic sweaty galvanizing clarity and passion than what the radio or social media put out there.  Its personal.

On July 4th at almost midnight I found SALE tickets for Lionel Richie for $20 each.  I was SO grateful I didn't miss this chance to hear the man whose songs I know by heart.  My radio dial stops immediately of its OWN volition when I'm in my car "Dancing on the Ceiling" singing as loud as I can not giving a rat's ass who is eyeballing the Buick with the crazy woman shifting gears in time to the beat .. and "jamming in the street" at stop lights.

The above clip is blurry, but its short and beautiful..All music belongs to Lionel Richie, thanks.

Now since I'm confessing all, THE COMMODORES?  Lionel Richie sang 'BRICK HOUSE' last night.  I shook my winning hand shamelessly in glee because I really wanted him to sing it, but didn't think he would.  Amazing.

The concert began at 7:30 with CeLo Green, who impressed me more live than he does on the Voice.  He was vibrant in song, which is a quality I love.  My husband didn't even know he was the opening act and he was so appreciative of the date we had planned entirely by me.

The rest of the night, well, Lionel Richie blew us away.  US being the entire crowd.  I hugged my John close and turned around and the audience was beautiful.  They were hugging, loving, smiling and world peace felt achievable right in the middle of Hello while looking at all the faces.

Do your life a favor if you can.  Go listen.  Take it all in.  The sounds. The music.  The crowd.  If you have never heard Lyle Lovett live, you are missing out on Magic.  Willie Nelson, not seeing him is just wrong.  These are some of the ground breakers, they are the greats.  Seize your partner and be amazed.  And SING!

And well, I wished I had my camera out for one memorable moment of the night.  Watching a guy eat a corndog.  After that I kept looking for corndogs, but alas, there were no hungry males.  *sigh* It was hilarious!!