The value of giving 20

I have had a long weekend.  I thought I saved something.  I thought I was doing a good job.  I don't know anymore. I was driving around ruminating over depression and loneliness...

 

What I do know is how cold it was this weekend. I had to wait till later to drive that day.  I was running an errand and dwelling on the previous night when I saw the sign.

 

Retired Veteran.  Will work and do anything. God Bless.

 

I took off my sunglasses and smiled at him.  The light turned green, but I put my car in park.  I waved him over.  There were lanes of traffic, but with a smile and tip of his hat he braved crossing in front of a guy already racing to make the light.  I rolled the window down and fumbled for my wallet, knowing I had a couple of bucks.

 

I had two dollar bills and one twenty, I thought I was broke...  In a split second, I pulled out that twenty and handed it out the window.

 

We never had a chance to smile at each other again because the world around us was impatient at me for holding up traffic and being in the middle lane, and of course, damning the man for not having a job and being so... poor. 

 

I hope he realized how happy his sign made me.  That was a good investment.  I smiled all day, God Bless I had twenty dollars.

 

It made the rest of life seem a bit stupid.

 

Some people just use me.  On purpose.  This guy simply had hope someone would allow him to ask.

Dollar Shave Club Inspires Memories of How It Should Have Been

Wow.  I identify with both parties in this commercial.  The guy wanting to know what he is refused access from the local pharmacy shaving ATM makes me empathize the most, but I have been buying razors long enough to not wait hopelessly at the box and stare at it. Nor do I get mad at the employee without clearance to the sacred keys...  BUT what the commercial reminded me of the painful days of toddler activities.....but I confess my days of gymnastics with toddlers and supermoms brought forth thoughts of socks and duct tape for certain moms... and a dart gun.

OK, OK before people shout out 'You hypocritical hater!' (I know, without details its very scandalous).  Let me fill in the blanks.  The duct tape is to be applied to any self proclaimed SuperMom multitasker (that can't park an Escalade.. it's creepy... Monster trucks seem to be the common mode of mammal movement these days); where was I... DUCT TAPING Mentally the Super's hand, to that God-awful screaming, drooling/oozing from every orifice CHILD I saw at least ten other women strangle with their eyes.  Meanwhile I'm wanting to simply lay hands upon their kid for neglect..it's VILE ...because LIKE a cartwheel into the vending area is so cool ten damned times (OH hell no sweetie, sit the fuck down DUCT TAPE).  The socks are for ... for .. that SuperMom I knew could swallow a pair of socks and STILL be heard bitching on the phone in the corner (acoustics people)... the dart gun... one for the teacher that made my daughter hate dance... a special WAKE up for the shit head supposedly teaching..  in my dream I have an arsenal of darts that I keep in my Batmobile.. or my Buick.. Betty.  I like to call them my 'sentials.  These tools are ESSENTIAL to me, the sentinel (I'm Batman)*

Seriously, I signed up for this.  Being a Mother and the Shave Club... bata bing. What a great company and super idea.  One for me and One for Him.  Delivered.  Razorblades delivered to my door.  Cool. Check it out.

https://www.dollarshaveclub.com/

*Please please visit the Channel HISHE on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCHCph-_jLba_9atyCZJPLQQ




Or their website:  http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com

What is the Message Sent Twice? One Eye.

I haven't been anywhere in two months, but every place.  I feel brittle.  Then the no-nonsensical me remembers what kind of world I truly live in.  So I crack every bone, sit and hone my smile, hide that voice. Don't be so inconvenient!  Seriously..

Yes we see.

Do we care?

Of Course!

that is,

(brilliantly)

Of Couture?

You?

'Umm Honey.  That foot sez ta me.... Paleeeze....Tattoo them for yo mid' life crisis!'

Can we get back to two eyes?

Not one.

A world of cyclops.

Knitting Sweaters

I should be upstairs.
knitting

If I follow that thread
I end up in bed

very warm.

That nettles (needles) knitting gnashing
thread by thread
sweaters.

I shed.
Down the stairs.
In my chair.

Fingers clatter, oh NOT to knit
finding

oh
well

Shit.




The answers are still the same.

1. My favorite channel is OFF
2. My right foot is not older than my left, as I cannot rearrange the space time
like Q...
3.  I have more fun with complete strangers.
4.  No Net.
5.  Mercy is actually an idiot's typo. Mer Ci
6. Yeah, I forgot, Hate me. it's fair. I hate you. Whoever you are.

Sisters and Life

I take too much for granted in this life I have.  Things that seem insurmountable to me would be a daydream for someone else to have.  I'm emotional at the moment dwelling on my sister, whom I admire profusely down to the very acidity of her struggles.  

She shrugged off my admission of admiration, and I can't take offense because I know why.  Believing in something makes a person vulnerable.  That's what my sister is, vulnerable.. and I can't stand the fact I am powerless to ease her hurts. God how I want to.

One thing I can do is put these words out there.  I admire my sister because:

1.  She happens to be an amazing mother.

2.  She is thrifty.

3.  She is brave.

4.  She has dreams.

5.  She improvises.

6.  She sings.

7.  She gives.

8.  She loves.

9.  She cries.

10.  Her children are her heart.

11.  She loves her family.

12.  She has grown up.

13.  She tries hard.

14.  She doesn't give up.

15.  She is funny.

16.  She is proud.

I could go on and on but I'm so glad enough time has gone by that we have become close friends.  I can't imagine not knowing her or needing her, because she is always there.