Hello. My name is Twotablesnotime and I am medicated. I have been medicated since 2002 when my sister Lynn passed away from an overdose of Oxycontin. The horror of watching my sister die for a week was too much for me. I circled the drain self medicating and finally landed myself in a psychiatrist's office. Then the merry-go-round of prescription drugs began. I don't know which is worse, the dangers of street drugs or a doctor attempting to find the perfect recipe using me as a main ingredient. I had a lot of tests done. That was when words like ADD, OCD, PSD and Bi-Polar whirled around me.
It was misery. Coping with loss and attempting sanity. Then getting pregnant and having to go cold turkey was torture. If there is such a thing as hell, it is being trapped inside your head and not being able to cry out. I suffered through that without telling my husband how horrible it really was and how close a friend suicide seemed to be. I just wanted it to stop. However, I wanted to be a mom more.
There is a stigma attached to being medicated. Truly. I have asthma and severe allergies. I went to emergency care over an asthma attack and the doctor tried to tell me it was in my head. Can I just say he looked at my chart and saw my medications and said this? I called him a worm and told him it took me all night to get where I was and not to fucking tell me what he thinks is in my damned head. Then I guess he saw I had insurance and wanted to run a battery of tests on me. This is where I told him to basically go fuck himself and that I was leaving. How insulting can a person be?
Another doctor, my podiatrist took anxiety personally. How dare I cry in her presence. How dare I be anxious. Lady there is nothing wrong with me other than the fact my foot hurts and I waited an hour to see you and I think you are a sadist because there are no stools in the waiting room to prop my feet on.
Which leads me to the whole reason I'm writing about this. I just called about having my prescription written for pickup early since its due while I'm on vacation. I was told my voodoo doctor refused this. I was ok with that until I was informed that more than likely I won't get a refill until January. So I must go a whole month without my medication. WTF? I have been a patient for ten years. This is bullshit.
So now I'm freaking out that I won't be me for a month because its too bad my doctor won't see me. My head doctor. How am I supposed to cope? Good luck with that Faye. Bite down hard on the shit sandwich.
Say ummm and thank you.
Another doctor, my podiatrist took anxiety personally. How dare I cry in her presence. How dare I be anxious. Lady there is nothing wrong with me other than the fact my foot hurts and I waited an hour to see you and I think you are a sadist because there are no stools in the waiting room to prop my feet on.
Which leads me to the whole reason I'm writing about this. I just called about having my prescription written for pickup early since its due while I'm on vacation. I was told my voodoo doctor refused this. I was ok with that until I was informed that more than likely I won't get a refill until January. So I must go a whole month without my medication. WTF? I have been a patient for ten years. This is bullshit.
So now I'm freaking out that I won't be me for a month because its too bad my doctor won't see me. My head doctor. How am I supposed to cope? Good luck with that Faye. Bite down hard on the shit sandwich.
Say ummm and thank you.
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