Doctor's Note and My Sister's Wedding

OK people, I don't talk much about the people I supposedly share genetic code with because frankly, just the thought makes bile rise to the point I realize I need to spit.  Deep thought and I'm wishing I could find a proverbial toilet to hug because they make me so anxious I could ruin perfectly innocent people's shoes.

Here's the scoop.

My sister who is getting married in a week pretty much called me two months ago to invite me to her wedding.  Which morphed into being in her wedding, which morphed into having to deal with my mom.  So, I have to suck it up, call my Mom and about throw up speaking to her I'm so scared she's going to reach through the phone and somehow magically kill me.  For what?  Nothing really.  Except for the fact she pretty much thinks I suck as a person and she's entitled to tell me that, know my net worth, run my life, curse at me and the list goes on and I'd like to think I've gotten over all that.  Obviously not. I love my mother, people.  How to love a poisonous object in human form is a scary thing.



Anyway.  A friend dies on Mom's birthday.  Not good.

On Mother's Day, I enjoy it's my Day.  Not good.

Sister two that flung me into middle of fight with wedding sister throws Bachelor party while I'm on vacation.  So not good.

That made me happy.  The idea of naked men with my family (I just threw up in my mouth)...

Sister that is bride has not said a thing to me but I haven't called because I came down with the unseen malady of Asthma that I thought was a cold and Drain-o didn't work.  I can't talk.  I can't breathe.

I'm MISERABLE.

These people spent years telling me I'm a drama queen.  I feel like I need a doctor's note and shrink note to prove illness...plus note from doctor when I get back.

And more fear, Mom won't let Dad talk to me.
Crystal and sister are friends now on Facebook.  I.E. Fuck you

And John says just stand there and then we'll leave.

And monkeys might fly out of my ass.

I'm thinking I should bring my knife and pepper spray.